We're facebook friends in real life
Are we in a gay sports bar?
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
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