That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
