First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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