i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
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She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
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We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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