adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
