I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Randomize
