I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
