My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
My friends, they love my intelligence
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
