IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Randomize