every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
