she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
