you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
