I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize