People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
they're like a gay fantastic four
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
