I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
please come you make the beer taste better
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
