woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Randomize
