I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
