Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
