Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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