I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
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