I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
