So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
