Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize