my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
