There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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