fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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