since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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