I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
