So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
