Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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