At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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