I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
