I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
how drunk are you?
Several
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
