Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Randomize
