It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
