kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
