some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
