I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
