Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
