I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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