Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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