New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
