don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
