Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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