i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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