Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
