I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
