did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
