im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
