Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Randomize
