I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
