HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
