he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
