Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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