No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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