but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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