either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
