I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
