the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
