Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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