People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
