It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
