PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
