Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Randomize
