we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
